Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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