Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
