i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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