You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
