He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
