weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
