is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
