I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
