I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
