i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We talked him into tasing himself.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
