ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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