she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
