this just has baby written all over it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
