It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
