i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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