in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
