i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
