69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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