I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
