Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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