he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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