# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
