his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
