I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
