I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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