I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
