Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
