I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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