one two three fourrrrnication!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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