Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
