Your face is a jimmy john
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Boobs are out for the taking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
