so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
