So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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