If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
