Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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