kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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