ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
