I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
