so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
