I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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