Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
