Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
