Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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