Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
