If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
