at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
