Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
