It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
