cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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