Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
