we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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