apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
