i need an iv and a liver transplant
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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