Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
