It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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