he wants to bone in the snuggie
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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