porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
