How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
