You really coming over, don't trick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
