I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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