I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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