Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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