see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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