"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
